I'm trying to translate the phrase "I didn't connect with him" or "I didn't connect with them," as in "We didn't see eye to eye."

I'm doing this with the phrase "se reconnaitre en quelqu'un", and I've gotten this far:

Je ne me suis pas reconnu....

But I don't know what pronoun to use (or where to put it) in place of en qqn. Should it just be en lui at the end of the sentence?

Moreover, where would vraiment go if I wanted to say "I didn't really connect with him" ?

Je ne me suis vraiment pas reconnu.... ????

2 Answers 2


Here is a case where you could use reconnuto render connection in a way a little bit different from the way you tought you could use it.

A retired father sees his son working in the farm, and it seems to him he is seeing himself as he was 30 years ago for example. The father would then say Je me suis reconnu en lui. To give another illustration, a Shaolin monk accompanies his students to Paris Bercy Omnisport for a martial art demonstration and is amazed to see one of them perfom exactly as he would, he would say: je me suis reconnu en lui

Now for what you want to say, you may say Je ne me suis pas entendu avec luito say I did not connect with him and Je ne me suis pas entendu avec euxfor I did not connect with them. And you would say Je ne me suis pas vraiment entendu avec lui/euxto say I did not really connect with them.

You can also say Je n'étais pas [vraiment] au diapason avec lui/eux meaning we did not agree. You may also say Je n'étais pas [vraiment] en phase avec lui/eux

  • +1, surtout pour "au diapason." A very cool image to capture being connected/in harmony with someone, imo!
    – Papa Poule
    Apr 12, 2015 at 13:53

With "se reconnaitre," I’d use “en” with pronouns: “en lui”/”en eux”; but “dans” with nouns "dans cette personne"/"dans ces gens".

Regardless, I think the negation of "s’entendre [très bien avec]” would best capture “don’t connect with” because frankly I often don’t connect well with people in whom I see [too much of] myself.

For the placement of “vraiment,” I'd put it instead after the "pas," which I think better captures the nuance between "didn't really" and "really didn't" that I feel exists in English (and again, I’d probably prefer “s’entendre”: “Je ne me suis pas vraiment entendu [très bien] avec lui/eux).”

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