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"If you think we're gonna get married just to please you, you've got another thing  coming. (I have my own career to think about, too.)"

I'd like to know, when you think someone is probably entertaining what you think to be a silly thought, how can you point that out in French?

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    The correct English phrase is "If you think <XYZ>, you've got another think coming", not another "thing" coming.
    – Aaron F
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 15:37
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    @jlliagre Which supports Aaron's point, so why are you referring him to it instead of Dasshoes?
    – lly
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 16:02
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    Well, to be pacific: it may be a doggie-dog world, but to all intensive purposes I'm not merely biting my time. In a last stitch effort to not be an escape goat, I would of nipped it in the butt, but unfortunately it doesn't pass mustard, and this comment has ended up as a bit of a damp squid.
    – Aaron F
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 17:16
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    /me growls at @AaronF
    – Monty Harder
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 18:21
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    @Aaron I stand corriged...
    – jlliagre
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 20:44

2 Answers 2

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The idea can be expressed in various ways. Even though each phrase has a different literal meaning and a different tone, they all essentially boil down to the same core idea: "you've got another think coming".

  1. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu peux te gratter !

  2. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, détrompe-toi !

  3. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te trompes lourdement !

  4. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te fourvoies complètement !

  5. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te goures royalement !

  6. Tu te leurres si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux !

  7. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te fais des illusions !

  8. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te mets le doigt dans l'œil !

  9. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te fourres le doigt dans l'œil jusqu'au coude !

  10. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu peux toujours courir !

  11. Tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux ? Cours toujours !

  12. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu peux toujours rêver !

  13. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu peux (aller) te brosser !

  14. Tu es loin du compte si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux !

  15. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, t'es complètement à côté d'la plaque, là !

  16. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu peux aller te faire voir !

  17. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu n'es pas au bout de tes surprises !

  18. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu n'a pas fini d'être déçue/surprise !

  19. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, tu te berces d'illusions !

  20. Si tu crois qu'on va se marier pour tes beaux yeux, alors tu te perds dans des chimères !

On a somewhat different tone:

  1. Pas pour péter ta bulle mais, si on va se marier, c'est pas pour tes beaux yeux.

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    Brosser for Sécher seems a belgicism, Brosser for "doing anything (that wouldn't make a difference anyway)" is widely used in France. Tu peux aller te brosser is fine.
    – jlliagre
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 10:57
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    Could this be made a community answer so we could eventually have explanations of the registers and differences between them? It's not helpful at all to have a the current laundry list.
    – lly
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 16:04
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    @lly The thing is that register-wise, every one of them can be used orally in conversation and seen as equivalents of "another think coming". As there is no clear-cut distinction like the one between formal and informal language, every French speaker would reasonably have slightly different subjective opinions about their nuances of register. The sheer quantity of alternatives offered might make it look like a laundry list, but it's not like the list is cluttered with a jumble of randomly chosen phrases.
    – Con-gras-tue-les-chiens
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 17:03
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    Not very useful to mix archaic expressions with rude slang
    – user13512
    Commented Jun 3, 2019 at 19:10
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    Note that "tu peux aller te faire voir" is much more agressive than "tu peux toujours rêver/courir"
    – Rafalon
    Commented Jun 4, 2019 at 9:50
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When somebody expects something that has absolutely zero chance of happening and needs a bit of a reality check, I quite like T'as vu la Vierge?!

For example :

  • Ouais, j'pense que les Français vont gagner la prochaine coupe du monde de rugby.
  • Non mais, t'as vu la Vierge ou quoi?!

It goes back to France being predominantly a Catholic country and the Virgin Mary being spotted in various places and at various times in the past. I guess the idea is that she would probably grant you impossible wishes, like some kind of a genie out of a bottle.

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